[ oda stops when dazai pauses, the sudden change in demeanor causing him to suddenly go into alert-mode for anything that might happen.
when he remembers that atsushi had that very same pause yesterday, oda can't help but feel just a bit...angry. like everyone's dancing around a subject and they won't tell him. ]
Atsushi did that too, yesterday. I'm guessing it has something to do with the other one, but if this is how you two are going to be around me, then I think I should know why.
Nothing, but the other you did mention it. Something about how hard it was to fight them without me.
[ he shrugs. the mafia vs mimic issue had never involved him or his children, so he never gave it much importance. if anything, he had just thought that it was nonsense that the other dazai was spewing out. ]
Mimic was an organization of military-men, all former soldiers from the war. They had no place left in this world and were drifting, looking for a warrior's death. Or so their leader claimed.
...He had the same ability as you. And because of that, he always saw his death coming. As soon as he found out about your ability he went right for you, trying to get you to be the one to finally kill him. Which you wouldn't, because you swore off killing entirely ages ago.
So he blew up your home with everyone minus yourself still inside, to give you the incentive to go after him.
[ there's a long moment of silence from oda. it might even look like he's frozen or paralyzed, if it wasn't for the obvious fact that he's breathing. to think that in a world, all that he worked for would be reduced to ashes-- ]
He was too attached to them. He shouldn't have.
[ it's the obvious conclusion that oda can come up with, but it doesn't exactly make him feel any better. it makes him doubt himself and his own ideals-- to not get attached to anyone, to keep your emotions trained. that had always been what he had told akutagawa during his training, so he wouldn't burn himself up in the search for his sister.
but even if he can talk about this other oda almost clinically, he also knows that he's not any better-- he's always been a hypocrite of the greatest caliber. so, what would he have done if his entire meaning in life was ripped away from him? the answer is obvious. ]
So he went after them and probably let himself die once he was done getting revenge. Right?
[Dazai nods softly. He has to glance away here, if only because even looking at Oda is too difficult right now.]
Because of your abilities, the only way to kill that man was to leave yourself open to getting fatally wounded.
...Himself. The only way he could do it was to leave himself open.
[The way he has to correct himself there is probably pretty telling. He knows that this Oda is a different Oda, it's not his Odasaku, but it's still hard to remember sometimes.]
[ oda nods. the way that dazai corrects himself is appreciated, but now with a bit of added pain behind it. no wonder this dazai had such a pained expression whenever he was angry. ]
There’s no point in asking why you didn’t stop him. [ he knows himself enough to know that would’ve been pointless. ] But were you there when he died? Or did he die alone?
[ oda actually looks taken aback when dazai shows that much emotion, blinking in surprise.
but he quickly settles back down, and shakes his head. ]
No... you don’t seem like the type. You’re too stubborn. [ despite himself, oda can’t help but smile slightly. part of him is relieved to know that his other self didn’t die alone. ] He must have been lucky to have a friend like that in his last moments— even if they’re doing something questionable right now.
[It's an admission that is blurted out suddenly, like he's been holding an intrusive thought in for far too long.]
When I arrived here a year ago, Odasaku was still alive and Ango hadn't betrayed the mafia. Then I found out about how our lives are tv shows and books here, so I had to go find out for myself just what happened in my future.
But so much time has passed, and if time is the same between this world and that, then I wasn't there when Mimic attacked.
That’s out of your hands, though. No one can blame you for that.
[ it’s not like he can blame dazai for something that was out of his control. the name ango doesn’t ring a bell either, and he tries not to think about the whole “our lives are fictional in this world” thing. it’s something he’s been doing for ages now and he has no intention to stop.
he sighs, trying to ignore the pain in his chest. ]
I guess me being here must be like some cruel joke from the Foundation, then.
[Dazai? Saying thanks? What has the world come to!
But Oda at least seems to understand why Dazai is doing all of this, maybe. Because of that, Dazai will go ahead and trust Oda not to say anything. He has a reputation to keep up, after all.]
You know, I thought this 'big bad villain' thing would be a lot easier than it actually is.
You should read more. Even the worst villain has a human side to them—they’re all trying to find yours. They’ll probably find it, too, even without my help.
[ oda shifts on his seat in the couch. part of him wishes there was more that he could do for dazai, but most of him has already resigned to the idea that nothing will come out of it.
for some reason, the image of the dazai he saw in the bar comes to his mind—it’s a painful memory, for some reason. ]
The Dazai I met was the Boss of the Port Mafia. I didn’t think about it much since I came here, but I wonder if he was trying to do the same thing as you— make himself into a villain. Although I don’t think I’d ever understand why.
The world needs villains, Oda-san. It's probably for the best if those villains are more of the 'I do what must be done' type rather than those who revel in the power and control they have.
...that must be what the other-me thought, back then. I can understand why he thought that.
Like I said, they’re not gonna give up trying to poke holes in it. You might end up with white hairs by the end of it. Will the reward be worth a head of white stress hairs?
[ the look on oda’s face makes it clear that he doesn’t agree with it. he doesn’t like being used by anyone else, and much less does he like seeing others get used.
but part of him can’t shake off the idea that dazai is also a victim, and that only serves to worsen his discomfort. ]
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[ and he'll continue to toss them back to dazai, a hint of a smile on his face. ]
1/2
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Welp.
Just give him a moment there.]
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when he remembers that atsushi had that very same pause yesterday, oda can't help but feel just a bit...angry. like everyone's dancing around a subject and they won't tell him. ]
Atsushi did that too, yesterday. I'm guessing it has something to do with the other one, but if this is how you two are going to be around me, then I think I should know why.
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Unlike Atsushi, Dazai can at least give part of the truth here. Emotions are a no-go, but Dazai can give the basic facts of the situation.]
What do you know about 'Mimic'?
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[ he shrugs. the mafia vs mimic issue had never involved him or his children, so he never gave it much importance. if anything, he had just thought that it was nonsense that the other dazai was spewing out. ]
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...He had the same ability as you. And because of that, he always saw his death coming. As soon as he found out about your ability he went right for you, trying to get you to be the one to finally kill him. Which you wouldn't, because you swore off killing entirely ages ago.
So he blew up your home with everyone minus yourself still inside, to give you the incentive to go after him.
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[ there's a long moment of silence from oda. it might even look like he's frozen or paralyzed, if it wasn't for the obvious fact that he's breathing. to think that in a world, all that he worked for would be reduced to ashes-- ]
He was too attached to them. He shouldn't have.
[ it's the obvious conclusion that oda can come up with, but it doesn't exactly make him feel any better. it makes him doubt himself and his own ideals-- to not get attached to anyone, to keep your emotions trained. that had always been what he had told akutagawa during his training, so he wouldn't burn himself up in the search for his sister.
but even if he can talk about this other oda almost clinically, he also knows that he's not any better-- he's always been a hypocrite of the greatest caliber. so, what would he have done if his entire meaning in life was ripped away from him? the answer is obvious. ]
So he went after them and probably let himself die once he was done getting revenge. Right?
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Because of your abilities, the only way to kill that man was to leave yourself open to getting fatally wounded.
...Himself. The only way he could do it was to leave himself open.
[The way he has to correct himself there is probably pretty telling. He knows that this Oda is a different Oda, it's not his Odasaku, but it's still hard to remember sometimes.]
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[ oda nods. the way that dazai corrects himself is appreciated, but now with a bit of added pain behind it. no wonder this dazai had such a pained expression whenever he was angry. ]
There’s no point in asking why you didn’t stop him. [ he knows himself enough to know that would’ve been pointless. ] But were you there when he died? Or did he die alone?
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[Oh.
That came out far more emotional than he meant for it to. ]
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but he quickly settles back down, and shakes his head. ]
No... you don’t seem like the type. You’re too stubborn. [ despite himself, oda can’t help but smile slightly. part of him is relieved to know that his other self didn’t die alone. ] He must have been lucky to have a friend like that in his last moments— even if they’re doing something questionable right now.
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[It's an admission that is blurted out suddenly, like he's been holding an intrusive thought in for far too long.]
When I arrived here a year ago, Odasaku was still alive and Ango hadn't betrayed the mafia. Then I found out about how our lives are tv shows and books here, so I had to go find out for myself just what happened in my future.
But so much time has passed, and if time is the same between this world and that, then I wasn't there when Mimic attacked.
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[ it’s not like he can blame dazai for something that was out of his control. the name ango doesn’t ring a bell either, and he tries not to think about the whole “our lives are fictional in this world” thing. it’s something he’s been doing for ages now and he has no intention to stop.
he sighs, trying to ignore the pain in his chest. ]
I guess me being here must be like some cruel joke from the Foundation, then.
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[No malicious intent on the side of the Foundation, just a bad coincidence. It happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.]
I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this. It's not your burden to carry.
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[ because oda would never sell himself any higher than that. ]
But it’s fine. If you want, I won’t tell anyone about this— that way you can keep acting like the bad guy all you want.
[ is that the best choice for the team? probably not. but he wouldn’t feel comfortable using this as clues if dazai didn’t allow it first. ]
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[Dazai? Saying thanks? What has the world come to!
But Oda at least seems to understand why Dazai is doing all of this, maybe. Because of that, Dazai will go ahead and trust Oda not to say anything. He has a reputation to keep up, after all.]
You know, I thought this 'big bad villain' thing would be a lot easier than it actually is.
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[ oda shifts on his seat in the couch. part of him wishes there was more that he could do for dazai, but most of him has already resigned to the idea that nothing will come out of it.
for some reason, the image of the dazai he saw in the bar comes to his mind—it’s a painful memory, for some reason. ]
The Dazai I met was the Boss of the Port Mafia. I didn’t think about it much since I came here, but I wonder if he was trying to do the same thing as you— make himself into a villain. Although I don’t think I’d ever understand why.
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...that must be what the other-me thought, back then. I can understand why he thought that.
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[ but something feels off about it. usually, he’d leave it as is, but now he wants to push more. it’s not like anyone’s watching them anyways. ]
But you’ve suffered enough, I think—why not let someone else do the job? Is the reward that good? Or were the alternatives even worse?
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Oh, if only Oda knew.]
I have my reasons for keeping it up for now. A couple months of it is something I can handle, especially for the reward at the end.
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[ big sigh? what’s he gonna do with you, dazai. ]
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[He answers immediately, and with conviction. Whatever reward he has at the end of this, he considers it to be worth the effort.]
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[ the look on oda’s face makes it clear that he doesn’t agree with it. he doesn’t like being used by anyone else, and much less does he like seeing others get used.
but part of him can’t shake off the idea that dazai is also a victim, and that only serves to worsen his discomfort. ]
Alright. If you say so.
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