You should read more. Even the worst villain has a human side to them—they’re all trying to find yours. They’ll probably find it, too, even without my help.
[ oda shifts on his seat in the couch. part of him wishes there was more that he could do for dazai, but most of him has already resigned to the idea that nothing will come out of it.
for some reason, the image of the dazai he saw in the bar comes to his mind—it’s a painful memory, for some reason. ]
The Dazai I met was the Boss of the Port Mafia. I didn’t think about it much since I came here, but I wonder if he was trying to do the same thing as you— make himself into a villain. Although I don’t think I’d ever understand why.
The world needs villains, Oda-san. It's probably for the best if those villains are more of the 'I do what must be done' type rather than those who revel in the power and control they have.
...that must be what the other-me thought, back then. I can understand why he thought that.
Like I said, they’re not gonna give up trying to poke holes in it. You might end up with white hairs by the end of it. Will the reward be worth a head of white stress hairs?
[ the look on oda’s face makes it clear that he doesn’t agree with it. he doesn’t like being used by anyone else, and much less does he like seeing others get used.
but part of him can’t shake off the idea that dazai is also a victim, and that only serves to worsen his discomfort. ]
[ he goes to the door and opens it. before stepping out, though, oda looks back at dazai. for a moment it looks like he's going to say something, but ultimately chooses against it. he looks away with a pained expression, and leaves in silence. ]
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[ oda shifts on his seat in the couch. part of him wishes there was more that he could do for dazai, but most of him has already resigned to the idea that nothing will come out of it.
for some reason, the image of the dazai he saw in the bar comes to his mind—it’s a painful memory, for some reason. ]
The Dazai I met was the Boss of the Port Mafia. I didn’t think about it much since I came here, but I wonder if he was trying to do the same thing as you— make himself into a villain. Although I don’t think I’d ever understand why.
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...that must be what the other-me thought, back then. I can understand why he thought that.
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[ but something feels off about it. usually, he’d leave it as is, but now he wants to push more. it’s not like anyone’s watching them anyways. ]
But you’ve suffered enough, I think—why not let someone else do the job? Is the reward that good? Or were the alternatives even worse?
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Oh, if only Oda knew.]
I have my reasons for keeping it up for now. A couple months of it is something I can handle, especially for the reward at the end.
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[ big sigh? what’s he gonna do with you, dazai. ]
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[He answers immediately, and with conviction. Whatever reward he has at the end of this, he considers it to be worth the effort.]
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[ the look on oda’s face makes it clear that he doesn’t agree with it. he doesn’t like being used by anyone else, and much less does he like seeing others get used.
but part of him can’t shake off the idea that dazai is also a victim, and that only serves to worsen his discomfort. ]
Alright. If you say so.
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[ oda doesn’t bother telling dazai how this will obviously be callous to anyone— it’s their lives on the line.
there’s another question in mind but...perhaps he is too much of a coward to actually ask.
so he glances up at the tv, and then back at dazai with his usual stoic expression. ]
It’s not really that interesting. [ the movie. he means the movie. ]
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[He still loves his trash movies, but serious talks have brought down the mood of movie night. Whoops.]
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Do you want me to leave?
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[He. He wants to spend time with Oda, but he wants to be a good host during it.]
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Alright.
[ he goes to the door and opens it. before stepping out, though, oda looks back at dazai. for a moment it looks like he's going to say something, but ultimately chooses against it. he looks away with a pained expression, and leaves in silence. ]