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fic idk
There are a hundred and one things that Sakutarou Oda—no, Sakunosuke Oda would like to tell Sakura, ever since that day. Though lying has never been his strong suit, he might as well be able to make withholding information into some sort of art form.
It’s not the same, Oda tells himself.
But it never brings him any consolation.
He’s seen it in her eyes, too. Sakura’s words rarely match the emotions that filter through her gaze. There’s always more that she wants to say, something that she holds close to her chest due to…what? Fear? Shame? Both?
In the back of his head, Oda wonders if he’s simply projecting his own issues onto her. He decides that it’s unfair for her and does his best to stop, but to no avail.
After all, it’s difficult to forget that conversation from their shared dream. She looked so hurt, so lonely…so angry. If those are the demons that are residing deep inside Sakura’s heart… then he can’t help but feel the same way. Though the origin of their wounds appeared to be from different places, their origin was the same.
It came from the world itself, which betrayed them. Kicked them down and beat them up until they could no longer stand up under the weight of their own despair.
They sit quietly in the outdoor café, the clear blue sky and bright sun creating a sharp contrast with the mood in the air—between them, and only them. Two people who were both rejected by the world, trying to…to what?
Perhaps that is the question that they’re both wishing to ask, the words on the tip of each other’s tongue.
The fear of the answer they’ll receive from the other though, is what holds them back from speaking.
Oda sighs wistfully into his coffee, his expression melancholic.
Sakura takes a bite of her chocolate cake, purple eyes glancing up before hurriedly looking down once again.
In the back of his head, Oda wishes that the elephant in the room was much easier to address. However, nothing is that simple.
Not for either of them.
“Odasaku-san.” It’s Sakura that finally breaks the heavy, yet not entirely uncomfortable, silence between them. She always speaks politely, but Oda can’t help but fondly note the liveliness that’s behind it.
He hums in response, blue eyes gazing up at her from his now cold coffee.
What can they do, when the very same world that betrayed them is the one giving them a second chance? Do they reject it in retaliation? Accept it with gratitude? Is there even a such thing as a wrong answer to this?
He wonders if these are the same things that are running through Sakura’s head at the moment. From the amount of time that it takes for her to speak up again, he figures that might be the case. Or maybe he’s projecting again.
Sakura’s shoulders drop, placing her hands on her lap in order to hide how she wrings her hands. Even so, the fact that she’s trying her hardest to hold herself together is more than obvious to Oda. She takes a deep breath and smiles, sad. “What will we do now?”
We.
It’s one person more than Oda had pictured in his life. Despite his friends on the app going through similar problems, he never felt like anyone could really understand his anger. His grief. His despair.
Not until he saw Sakura’s dream.
It’s a little selfish to admit, but he couldn’t help but feel an inkling of relief once he found out that they were both so similar to each other. Two people that had every piece of hope, love, and trust carved out of them, leaving only an empty husk of a person.
So, Oda wonders as he sets the coffee down, what will they do with their lives now? She isn’t exactly Sakura Matou just as he isn’t exactly the Sakunosuke Oda from his memories.
“I don’t know” is what Oda finally says, sighing. It’s an uncertainty that doesn’t please him and, judging from how she looks down at her lap with her eyebrows knit together, Sakura isn’t a fan of it either.
But it’s the closest to a right answer as they can get. After all, there’s nothing but uncertainty waiting for them in the horizon; it’s the status quo of the city. Perhaps, their life will be smooth sailing from now on. Perhaps not. They can only wait and see what the future brings forth for them.
Reluctantly accepting this as her reality, she looks up from her lap again. Her eyes are full of different emotions and, for a second, Oda realizes how beautiful they are.
Hesitantly, she speaks. “What you said…back then…do you mean it?"
“Yeah, I do.” There’s no hesitation in Oda’s voice. He has no reason to ask for her to clarify what exactly she’s referring to—he knows very well.
‘I won’t stop you if you want to burn the world down. I’ll take it down with you, if that’s what you want.’
He owes the world nothing. And neither does Sakura. They’ve suffered far more than enough for its sake.
She stares at him, obviously bewildered. It’s an appropriate reaction, Oda realizes, and he can’t help but suddenly feel a little self-conscious about it.
But then, for the first time today, Sakura giggles into her hand. “Geez, Odasaku-san, it’s strange to see you so brazen with anyone.”
Instinctively, Oda looks away, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, I—”
“Don’t be.” She cuts him off, uncharacteristic of someone as polite as Sakura. Despite the teasing tone just seconds ago, her voice now holds a warmth to it, which coaxes Oda to look back at her.
She looks…relieved. Whether it’s because Oda has chosen her over the rest of the world or because someone finally understands how she feels, he doesn’t know. Nor does he care.
With his own relief calming his heart, Oda smiles.
As long as they’re together, they’ll be alright.
It’s not the same, Oda tells himself.
But it never brings him any consolation.
He’s seen it in her eyes, too. Sakura’s words rarely match the emotions that filter through her gaze. There’s always more that she wants to say, something that she holds close to her chest due to…what? Fear? Shame? Both?
In the back of his head, Oda wonders if he’s simply projecting his own issues onto her. He decides that it’s unfair for her and does his best to stop, but to no avail.
After all, it’s difficult to forget that conversation from their shared dream. She looked so hurt, so lonely…so angry. If those are the demons that are residing deep inside Sakura’s heart… then he can’t help but feel the same way. Though the origin of their wounds appeared to be from different places, their origin was the same.
It came from the world itself, which betrayed them. Kicked them down and beat them up until they could no longer stand up under the weight of their own despair.
They sit quietly in the outdoor café, the clear blue sky and bright sun creating a sharp contrast with the mood in the air—between them, and only them. Two people who were both rejected by the world, trying to…to what?
Perhaps that is the question that they’re both wishing to ask, the words on the tip of each other’s tongue.
The fear of the answer they’ll receive from the other though, is what holds them back from speaking.
Oda sighs wistfully into his coffee, his expression melancholic.
Sakura takes a bite of her chocolate cake, purple eyes glancing up before hurriedly looking down once again.
In the back of his head, Oda wishes that the elephant in the room was much easier to address. However, nothing is that simple.
Not for either of them.
“Odasaku-san.” It’s Sakura that finally breaks the heavy, yet not entirely uncomfortable, silence between them. She always speaks politely, but Oda can’t help but fondly note the liveliness that’s behind it.
He hums in response, blue eyes gazing up at her from his now cold coffee.
What can they do, when the very same world that betrayed them is the one giving them a second chance? Do they reject it in retaliation? Accept it with gratitude? Is there even a such thing as a wrong answer to this?
He wonders if these are the same things that are running through Sakura’s head at the moment. From the amount of time that it takes for her to speak up again, he figures that might be the case. Or maybe he’s projecting again.
Sakura’s shoulders drop, placing her hands on her lap in order to hide how she wrings her hands. Even so, the fact that she’s trying her hardest to hold herself together is more than obvious to Oda. She takes a deep breath and smiles, sad. “What will we do now?”
We.
It’s one person more than Oda had pictured in his life. Despite his friends on the app going through similar problems, he never felt like anyone could really understand his anger. His grief. His despair.
Not until he saw Sakura’s dream.
It’s a little selfish to admit, but he couldn’t help but feel an inkling of relief once he found out that they were both so similar to each other. Two people that had every piece of hope, love, and trust carved out of them, leaving only an empty husk of a person.
So, Oda wonders as he sets the coffee down, what will they do with their lives now? She isn’t exactly Sakura Matou just as he isn’t exactly the Sakunosuke Oda from his memories.
“I don’t know” is what Oda finally says, sighing. It’s an uncertainty that doesn’t please him and, judging from how she looks down at her lap with her eyebrows knit together, Sakura isn’t a fan of it either.
But it’s the closest to a right answer as they can get. After all, there’s nothing but uncertainty waiting for them in the horizon; it’s the status quo of the city. Perhaps, their life will be smooth sailing from now on. Perhaps not. They can only wait and see what the future brings forth for them.
Reluctantly accepting this as her reality, she looks up from her lap again. Her eyes are full of different emotions and, for a second, Oda realizes how beautiful they are.
Hesitantly, she speaks. “What you said…back then…do you mean it?"
“Yeah, I do.” There’s no hesitation in Oda’s voice. He has no reason to ask for her to clarify what exactly she’s referring to—he knows very well.
‘I won’t stop you if you want to burn the world down. I’ll take it down with you, if that’s what you want.’
He owes the world nothing. And neither does Sakura. They’ve suffered far more than enough for its sake.
She stares at him, obviously bewildered. It’s an appropriate reaction, Oda realizes, and he can’t help but suddenly feel a little self-conscious about it.
But then, for the first time today, Sakura giggles into her hand. “Geez, Odasaku-san, it’s strange to see you so brazen with anyone.”
Instinctively, Oda looks away, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, I—”
“Don’t be.” She cuts him off, uncharacteristic of someone as polite as Sakura. Despite the teasing tone just seconds ago, her voice now holds a warmth to it, which coaxes Oda to look back at her.
She looks…relieved. Whether it’s because Oda has chosen her over the rest of the world or because someone finally understands how she feels, he doesn’t know. Nor does he care.
With his own relief calming his heart, Oda smiles.
As long as they’re together, they’ll be alright.